Heartbeats in Paris and Tracing Time

In what seems like a lifetime ago I was in Paris visiting a friend, who was studying there. I had a few days on my own since my friend was mostly busy with uni and my boyfriend was joining me later on for a romantic weekend in Paris. It wasn’t Valentine’s Day but the romantic idea surely helped when we planed the trip.

On one of those days that I spend alone wandering through Paris without a cent in my pocket I somehow ended up in the Centre Pompidou, where I suddenly found myself in a dark room. There was a film by the American artist Nan Goldin playing, accompanied by the voice of Björk (who I accidentally spotted the very same day at a cafe in Paris!)

Heartbeat is a film by Nan Goldin. This picture is stolen off undo.net

Heartbeat is a film by Nan Goldin. This picture is stolen off undo.net

It only took a few seconds and I was taken in by the moment. I sat there, completely blown away by the honesty and intimacy the pictures revealed. With my heart I deeply empathized with the feelings Goldin had captured on camera. Having said that – I also could have never expressed those kind of feelings in any way myself. This made me think about my perception of love and relationship and the changes it underwent.

Do we learn more about how to express feelings the older we get? Or do we get more skeptical and just simply better at hiding our feelings? How come that gestures like a hug when saying good bye can mean more over time than a kiss the morning after? But at the same time – aren’t we all willing to give more to get more?

Since then I’ve been looking to find the video on DVD or online. Unfortunately it’s not available anywhere, but today I stumbled upon some footage on YouTube. This is a bad recording, but it does give you an idea of what the film is like.

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